Eric the legend

Oh dear off to a good start! Woke up busting for a pee, but the bed was just so warm, I thought I can hang on for a while and just snuggle for a bit. I was laying there when Lester bought me in a nice big cup of coffee, oh it was good, by the time I'd drank that my eyes were floating! He said "see ya later" and I heard him open the door, well the bloody Jasmine must be flowering because I got a huge whoft if it! And then the fun began! My eyes started watering and I knew I was in big trouble! I sprung out of bed and started the dash! With every Aaaaachoooo there was farkin gush! I was doing the old cross your legs jump and pop a rib trick! I finally got to the dunny soaked only to hear the little horror yelling from his cage "Aaaaachoooo farkin thing! Aaaaaaachooooo farkin thing!...Aaaaachoooooo! ...coooooome and get meeee!" It's a friggen circus!

This was just too funny, we had to get a new rubbish bin because Eric's favourite pastime was to stand on top of the old one and unload it everywhere! Anyway we got this you beaut shinny bin that is motion activated, every time I wanted to use it I would lift my arms in the air and say "open" and then put my arms down and say "close" well the little horror has been taking it all in as predicted, I walked into the room yesterday to find him standing in front of the bin with his wings up in the air yelling "Fukn Thing!" He obviously couldn't get it working 😂😂😂

Eric was in a chirpy mood this morning! I got him out of his cage and he very happy and excited saying "it's kiss kiss time darlin! It's scratch scratch time darlin!" And then it was "Fark it's cold out there darlin! (Followed by) it's cuppa time darlin!" Then we walked over to the table to have our morning cuppa and he said "do you want a kiss kiss darlin?" I said "ok come on then" and then he said "do you want a scratch scratch darlin?" Haha I said "I don't Eric but I reckon you do" Then like a bolt from the blue he said. " do you wanna scratch my nuts darlin?" 😳 Holly snapping duck shit! I was shocked! Um where did you learn that? Who taught you that? Was it a cross between "do you want a scratch" and "do you want some nuts?" Or has Lester been teaching you stuff again? I've got my suspicions on this one! Oh boy I can't wait until Lester gets home tonight! First...

Poor Eric! We have had to leave Eric for 2 days in a row and I have felt so guilty. We rushed back home today and as I was getting out of the car I knew we were in for it because all I could hear is "come and farkin get me! Come and farkin get me!" I could just tell he wasn't happy with us! I said to him"I'll come and get you as soon as we unload the car" we unloaded the car to the tune of "wanna come out! Wanna come out! Wanna come out" I finally got him out and he said "Hello beautiful baby darlin bastard" I said "what' was all that yelling about Eric?" He said "I'm fukn sick of this!" I said "what are you sick of?" He said "the Fukn cat!" I said "did that cat come and scare you while we were out?" He said "Fukn Lester! (And he threw his wings up) do you wanna going to bed! Farkin stupid!" I'm guessing the cat from across the road visited and he's blaming Lest...

I've just started taking the horror into the shower with me, he is a little  unsure about seeing me naked ( I'm not sure if it's a humorous laugh or a nervous laugh) but he laughs! As much as I try and Coax him in he would rather have a shower on his own so today I thought I'm not going to try I'll just get on with my shower and see if he will get closer. WHAT A FUKN MISTAKE THAT WAS! I could hear him on the bench and I yelled out "Eric what are you doing?" His reply was "I just shit there!" I said "where did you shit?" He said "I just shit there!" I was thinking OMG I just Know he is into mischief! So I hurriedly got out of the shower and grabbed my towel to survey the mess and fair dinkum there was worms coming out of my toothpaste where he put holes in it! There was worms coming out of my moisturiser where he put holes in it! He had plucked my toothbrush bald! I cleaned up all the mess and looked in the mirror and there w...

Most people train their birds to come back by using a whistle or clicker, could you imagine what would happen if Eric escaped? I would have to buy 50 cartons of cascade blond beer and get the neighbours to stand outside holding up cans yelling "come on Eric I've got beer"